Most women out there are wanting that special someone in their life, that person that they can grow old with and argue over the remote with, then cuddle deciding to watch the HSN or something crazy like that. I myself have seen some horrible breakups in my day, and I have had some wonderful relationships in my day. Through these I have learned many things and the one thing that I have learned is that there are red flags in a relationship that you should NEVER just let slide. I am not saying that the little things that drive you a little crazy like the him leaving the nail clippings on the floor is something that you should split up over, these are the things that could really determine what your future with him would be like. Also I have learned the things that you should strive to have in a relationship, sometimes it is the little things that drive you crazy that make you love him even more. Ladies out there please don't sell yourself short or think that you can drastically change a man. Men are who they are, yes granted there will be change in a relationship over time based on the other person's wants and needs, but there will never be drastic change.

• If he makes plans with you and then drops them without explanation
  This one is a given or should be for the ladies, yes maybe once he had a flat tire or an emergency but when it becomes a regular thing that is the problem. I was dating this guy and we would make plans to go do something and the plans would keep changing, the first time that he actually stuck to the plans we ended up hooking up and then no more future plans, so also don't just hookup with a guy.
  


• No ambition equals going nowhere in life
  There is a problem with a man who has no ambition in life this person needs to be striving to better himself in one way or another. I was in a long serious relationship and going to college full time and working full time while I was in it, the person that I was with was still living at home(granted I was as well but to save money), he was working at a hourly wage job without any hopes of moving up, and he had dropped out of community college for the most part. We would argue over him going to school, he would say over and over again that he didn't have the money or other lame excuses like that. Needless to say I am graduating college and holding the job of a lifetime and he is hating his job that will get him no where.
  


• Trust is always key
  Never ever stay with someone whether you have just started dating, or have been in a relationship if you can't trust that person. And I think the addage is true once a cheater always a cheater. My ex started acting shady and I thought something was up, but I didn't want to be that girlfriend. One day I was using his computer and his IM opened up with messages from this other woman and how much he loved her, that should have been a red flag but I continued to date him and he did it again.
  


• Feel the spark!
  One of the worst things to do with a relationship starting out is to not have that spark there. This doesn't mean that you have to be all over eachother(allthough it helps) but you need to be able to communicate. And if you have been in a relationship with someone and you just don't feel the spark with them, I mean if you just don't enjoy being around that person then it is time to move on. Trust me dragging it on hoping it gets better only makes it worse.
  


• Never let a man get emotionally or physically aggressive
  If you feel bad about yourself constantly because of him or if he ever raises his hand at you it is time to step away or rather run the hell away.
  


• Don't let him be controlling
  If he won't let you hang out with your friends or family then there is a problem. In one of my relationships my ex didn't want me talking to any other males unless I asked his permission. He found out once that I did and yelled at me making me for about an hour making me cry. Also he did not want me to spend time with my family, but he did want me spending time with his. There was another instance where a male friend of mine was having a rough time, he was considering suicide and his mother asked me to go to his aide while she came in from Houston, well when I didn't call my ex every 5 minutes letting him know if my friends mother was there he went apeshit crazy. Also he did not like my bestfriend of 18yrs, he would call her names and get angry if I spent time with her. Well thank god he is gone.
  


• Make sure he supports himself
  If you are having to pay his bills the kick him to the curb or if you are out on the first date and he just expects you to pay. I know I offer to pay on the first date but if they guy says sure or "I forgot my wallet" then he needs to be gone. I only wished I had realized this sooner. The man I thought I was going to marry didn't have a cell phone, and he didn't have the money to pay the carrier's deposit fee and being the caring person that I am I payed for him and then he used the phone to call his cybersluts...I mean the women he loved.
  

These are the things that were red flags that I saw looking back, I shouldn't have wasted my time but I learned the things that the guy for you will have.

• Laughter and fun
  If he laughs with you or makes you laugh and smile then he is good for you, my current boy is always doing silly things to make me laugh, and to make me smile. In most of our pictures at least one of us is making a goofy face, we also like to race eachother to the truck, or he carries me on his back when we go to wal-mart. If you can have fun and laugh then it is good.
  


• He likes your friends
  If he is willing to go 20 miles to drop your drunken best friend off at her house, even though it looks like she is about to ralph in his vehicle then he is a keeper. Every time we go out in a group my boy buys my friends there drinks not to flaunt his money but to show that he likes them, also he always is the DD for our group of people never any questions asked.
  


• He can support himself
  He doesn't have to be rich, but as long as he can pay his own bills without asking you to pay them or do ridiculous things like put you on his phone plan then you are okay. Also and this is just me if he play fights with you over paying for the bill then he is financially stable.
  

Someone once told me to stop fighting for what is wrong for you and focus on what is right.